Name: Rob C..
Age: 37
Home: Trenton, N.J.
Sobriety Date:28th August 2007
Interests: Kids, Girlfriend, Sobriety
Hobbies: Mountain Biking, Fishing, Bowling, Movies, Music, Sports
|
|
 | Biography/Personal Statement
Summer of '84, started drinking with friends in Chambersburg, running
the streets at night, partying, drinking soon escalated into other
substances. It was fun at first but by 17 or 18 I became solely
attached to alcohol and cocaine, and my 'social use' became an
addiction. Instead of simply partying it became my means of escape.
Ironically it caused more and more problems. I was not a good father
to my two boys, I lost relationships with people I loved, I lost jobs,
lost perspective, lost everything. I would even lose a brother, John
(R>I>P>) to this disease. Because of this I began to try and
'get better'. I would have dry spells but would inevitably relapse and
repeat the cycle all over again.
It was only after innumerable repeats that I slowly grew "sick
and tired of being sick and tired'. 'Sick and tired' of the guilt, the
shame and the misery of knowing there is a better way of life but not
following it. People kept telling me I could do it-I JUST NEVER DID IT
!!!Finally I wanted to change, I wanted to become a better person, a
better father, worker, friend, boyfriend. I wanted to become
accountable, reliable and trustworthy. Looking for, wanting and
working for change is important now and that's why I came to tabor
House.
I arrived on Easter Sunday 07 and started doing the basics, I made
meetings and got a sponsor and began to 'talk the talk", things
were 'ok' and then the cycle started again and suddenly I didn't talk.
I didn't tell anyone and began romancing the idea of relapse, I
eventually got closer to 'people, places and things before finally
actually picking up again, this time it was different.
It wasn't the worse relapse in terms of damage done on the outside but
the damage done on the inside was almost unbearable. This time there
was no refuge no apartment to hide in. I had to be accountable for my
actions if I was to get clean and sober again. I had to be accountable
to God, to myself, to my girlfriend and to my housemates. I felt like
I had let myself and other people down. I felt like I didn't 'do the
work' and I knew it didn't sit right with me, that it is no longer
'ok' to take time off when your trying to clean up.
Today I am not taking things for granted. I have good people in my
life, two great kids, a wonderful girlfriend, a good job, a good
support group and a sober environment to live in. I no longer have to
be a slave to addiction, today I have hope. I know my addiction can
never give me things that are important to me but change and recovery
can and that's what I am about today.
|
|
