Why my life came to a halt is the foundation of my existence today. I always felt as if I were "not a part of" or "less than", I felt this way throughout my entire life. Sort of like a person drifting on a raft on a wavy ocean. No balance whatsoever.

I did whatever it took to fit in most of the time and so along those lines, drugs and alcohol became an accepted part of my lifestyle and helped me accept my fears. Somewhere along the lines of low self esteem or no self esteem, addiction took those feelings away. Furthermore the progression of my disease took over and my life came to a halt and stayed that way for another 15 years. Prior to this point I had been active in sports and in my family. Addiction stopped that.

Today my responsibilities are to myself and to A. A. God is in control of my life, surrender to His will is paramount if I am to continue to live sober one day at a time, God Bless, gregory s.